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Friday, July 29, 2011


Looking back, I didn't fully grieve the twins at the time. Maybe it was because I was still pregnant with 1 healthy, perfect baby. We were still very excited about that. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions! The pregnancy continued with some complications. I worried the entire time. I spotted well into my second trimester. I had ultrasounds every month which is way more than a typical pregnancy. I was considered "high-risk," due to my Hypo-thyroid condition, Endometriosis, history of Rheumatoid Arthritis and everything that happened at the start of this pregnancy. At 16 weeks, we found out that our little bundle was a healthy baby BOY! We were thrilled!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Lows, Highs, and Lows Again (7 weeks pregnant)

Ok...triplets....I cried. At first, we thought, "What? Can we handle three babies at once? Can my body carry triplets? Can we afford triplets?" It was scary to be perfectly honest. But, very exciting at the same time. Now, in the last post, I forgot to mention that Dr. D was VERY nervous about the triplets and was quick to inform us that there was a chance they wouldn't make it. Especially since they were sharing the same sac and we couldn't detect a division between the two of them. Even so, we were happy and never believed that they wouldn't make it. J was immediately excited ecstatic and suggested a celebration dinner. After a week, the news really settled in and we started to picture our future with 3 beautiful babies. We talked about names, finances, etc. Our family all promised that they would come stay with us and help out. We finally started to believe, "We can do this..."

J came with me to my 7 week ultrasound. Thank God he did! First, they looked for Baby C (the fraternal triplet in its own sac.) Good, strong heartbeat. Then, they looked for the twins, Baby A & B. I don't remember exactly what Dr. D said but it was something to the effect of,
"I'm sorry...we're not seeing heartbeats."
Again, I cried. But this time, it was for a much different reason than the previous week. J and I looked at each other. How did this happen? Why? It's not fair! I want all 3 of my babies! Dr assured us that there was no reason why Baby C wouldn't continue to thrive to term. But, my heart was broken for our twins. It still is.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It's been a long time coming...

I realize that it has been over a year since I've written. What a year it has been! Spoiler Alert: I am typing this as I hold my beautiful 6 month old son. That's right- our first IVF attempt worked! So, why haven't I written in so long? Well, there is an answer...but it's a long one. It was too hard. Yes, this journey resulted in a healthy, happy, amazing little baby boy, but there was a whole lot that happened since the journey began. On July 12, 2010, I woke early to head to the clinic for my beta (blood test for pregnancy.) The nurse asked me my phone number and said the results would take about 2 hours. I requested that she not call me until the afternoon when J and I would be home. She looked at me puzzled and said,
"But, don;t you want to know as soon as possible?" My response was,
"I do, but if it's not good news, I can't handle it until my husband gets home." She agreed to wait. About 2 hours later, my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen. It read, "Dr. D Cell." I knew right away! I answered it and Dr. D said,
"How's my pregnant patient doing?" I yelled,
"Am I pregnant?"
"Oh, you're VERY pregnant." What did that mean? It meant my beta numbers were triple the standard. So, we assumed both embryos had implanted and we were having twins. A week later, I went for my first ultrasound. Sure enough, we saw 2 embryonic sacs. We were so excited! At the next appointment, we got the shocker of a lifetime!!!
"Here's one heartbeat." The ultrasound tech said, "and here's another." She stopped. "Dr. D, are you seeing this?" She said very calmly.
"I sure am." He said. "It looks like identical twins."
The first thought that came across my mind was that only 1 embryo implanted and that it had split into identicals.
"Wait. There's only 2, right?" I asked.
"Nope. 3!' Dr. D responded.
3? Triplets? The only adequate response to that is, "O. M. G!"