Flashback: January 7, 2011

It's Friday night. Something's not right. I knew it right away, but why was I in denial? Why oh why didn't I listen to body? I began experiencing the strangest pains. They came every few minutes then they wouldn't come for hours, then they'd be back again. I thought I was having bad gas pains. Honestly, that's exactly what it felt like, just stronger. I remember at one point, going to get something out of the refridgerator when the pain came on. It literally crippled me over. Looking back, there were clearly contractions. Hindsight is 20/20, right? I still feel so stupid. But, I was only 29 weeks pregnant, so the thought that it was labor didn't even cross my mind. The pain continued off and on all Saturday and through to Sunday morning. By then I realized it wasn't gas. I called my sister & the oncall nurse at my doctor's office. They both told me to go to Labor & Delivery. They hooked me up to the monitors. Indeed, I was having contractions...about every 10-15 minutes. I was also dialated 1-2 cm. They gave me a shot of Brethene and a RX for it as well, sent me home and told me to follow up with my OBGYN the next day. So, I did. The dr. checked me and by that time I was already 3-4 cm. She told me to go directly to Labor & Delivery, that they would probably keep for a couple days and then I'd be able to go home on bedrest....HA!

High-Risk

Looking back, I didn't fully grieve the twins at the time. Maybe it was because I was still pregnant with 1 healthy, perfect baby. We were still very excited about that. Talk about a whirlwind of emotions! The pregnancy continued with some complications. I worried the entire time. I spotted well into my second trimester. I had ultrasounds every month which is way more than a typical pregnancy. I was considered "high-risk," due to my Hypo-thyroid condition, Endometriosis, history of Rheumatoid Arthritis and everything that happened at the start of this pregnancy. At 16 weeks, we found out that our little bundle was a healthy baby BOY! We were thrilled!

Lows, Highs, and Lows Again (7 weeks pregnant)

Ok...triplets....I cried. At first, we thought, "What? Can we handle three babies at once? Can my body carry triplets? Can we afford triplets?" It was scary to be perfectly honest. But, very exciting at the same time. Now, in the last post, I forgot to mention that Dr. D was VERY nervous about the triplets and was quick to inform us that there was a chance they wouldn't make it. Especially since they were sharing the same sac and we couldn't detect a division between the two of them. Even so, we were happy and never believed that they wouldn't make it. J was immediately excited ecstatic and suggested a celebration dinner. After a week, the news really settled in and we started to picture our future with 3 beautiful babies. We talked about names, finances, etc. Our family all promised that they would come stay with us and help out. We finally started to believe, "We can do this..."

J came with me to my 7 week ultrasound. Thank God he did! First, they looked for Baby C (the fraternal triplet in its own sac.) Good, strong heartbeat. Then, they looked for the twins, Baby A & B. I don't remember exactly what Dr. D said but it was something to the effect of,
"I'm sorry...we're not seeing heartbeats."
Again, I cried. But this time, it was for a much different reason than the previous week. J and I looked at each other. How did this happen? Why? It's not fair! I want all 3 of my babies! Dr assured us that there was no reason why Baby C wouldn't continue to thrive to term. But, my heart was broken for our twins. It still is.

It's been a long time coming...

I realize that it has been over a year since I've written. What a year it has been! Spoiler Alert: I am typing this as I hold my beautiful 6 month old son. That's right- our first IVF attempt worked! So, why haven't I written in so long? Well, there is an answer...but it's a long one. It was too hard. Yes, this journey resulted in a healthy, happy, amazing little baby boy, but there was a whole lot that happened since the journey began. On July 12, 2010, I woke early to head to the clinic for my beta (blood test for pregnancy.) The nurse asked me my phone number and said the results would take about 2 hours. I requested that she not call me until the afternoon when J and I would be home. She looked at me puzzled and said,
"But, don;t you want to know as soon as possible?" My response was,
"I do, but if it's not good news, I can't handle it until my husband gets home." She agreed to wait. About 2 hours later, my cell phone rang. I looked at the screen. It read, "Dr. D Cell." I knew right away! I answered it and Dr. D said,
"How's my pregnant patient doing?" I yelled,
"Am I pregnant?"
"Oh, you're VERY pregnant." What did that mean? It meant my beta numbers were triple the standard. So, we assumed both embryos had implanted and we were having twins. A week later, I went for my first ultrasound. Sure enough, we saw 2 embryonic sacs. We were so excited! At the next appointment, we got the shocker of a lifetime!!!
"Here's one heartbeat." The ultrasound tech said, "and here's another." She stopped. "Dr. D, are you seeing this?" She said very calmly.
"I sure am." He said. "It looks like identical twins."
The first thought that came across my mind was that only 1 embryo implanted and that it had split into identicals.
"Wait. There's only 2, right?" I asked.
"Nope. 3!' Dr. D responded.
3? Triplets? The only adequate response to that is, "O. M. G!"

Our Anniversary

Today is our 3rd Wedding Anniversary. 3 years ago, neither one of has had any idea the crazy roller-coaster ride we would soon embark upon. We had talked about starting a family for years and I guess like most couples, we assumed it would come easy. Though this time has been trying for us both, I'm actually thankful for it, as crazy as that may sound. J and I have shared so much and been through so much together. It has really brought us closer than ever before. We appreciate each other more and we definitely appreciate life more. And now, seeing his excitement and joy through this journey, It makes me love him so much more. I cannot wait to see him as a father and I know he'll be the best one there is! Most importantly, this journey has brought us closer to God and to our faith which I think is something we both desperately needed. Happy Anniversary J! I cannot wait for our belated anniversary gift to each other!

Transfer

Yesterday, we transferred 2 perfect embryos. We even got our first baby picture! J put it on the refrigerator. He is so proud already. J and I were able to watch on the ultra-sound monitor as the embryos were transferred into my uterus. It was amazing. I came home and was ordered to 24 hours bed rest. I also am supposed to take it easy and stay off my feet for the next 3-4 days. Last night, J rubbed and kissed my belly goodnight. The next 2 weeks will be the longest of my life! Tomorrow, I will call to schedule my beta (pregnancy blood test) for 2 weeks from now. I cannot wait to hear the good news!

Embryo Update

The nurse called today with an update. Most of our babies are now 8-celled embryos! We still have 17 growing. However, 9 of them are looking very good, 2 more are pretty good and the remaining 6 are still viable but developing more slowly. She said these are excellent results. My transfer will definitely be on Saturday and she will call tomorrow to schedule that appointment.

I am still feeling VERY bloated and tight in the abdomen. The nurse suggested an anti-hystamine called, "Chlor-Trameton." I have not noticed a difference yet. She also said that it is completely normal. So, as long as I know that, I can deal with it.

I guess my post will be Saturday after our transfer procedure. I am excited about this procedure. I will be fully awake and J and I will be able to see everything on the ultra-sound monitor. How neat?!?!?